Category Archives: questions

Je ne sais pas

Some people think the most important phrases to learn in a new language are “Please,” “Thank you,” “Direct me to the washroom,” “I am in pain,” and “How much does this cost?”

Those are all very useful, but for me, what I most want to learn to say in any language is “I don’t know.”

Because I never do.

Right now I don’t know how many paintings I’ll have for my May show or how I’ll manage to bring the one on my easel right now to a satisfactory resolution.

I don’t know what the paintings will be “about” (and some one is bound to ask me that-ugh) or what I’ll title my show.

I’m tempted to call it “More Paintings about Rats and Balloons.”

Maybe I’ll resist that urge. Maybe not.

Maybe I just need a good night’s sleep.

I don’t know if that will be possible tonight.

Je ne sais pas.

The death of an old man

is not a tragedy. But, still…

Rest in peace, J.D. Salinger. Finally you’ve escaped the prying of curious strangers.

I must admit I’m eager to see what works may have been stashed in that house and I hope they are published soon.

I’m sorry, Mr. Salinger.

Good-night, sweet prince;
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

It is Steal Something Day

and I am cranky.

I get as annoyed as anyone else with the wads of ads in the Thanksgiving Day newspaper urging me to buy crap I don’t need.

But Adbusters’ “Buy Nothing Day” alternative has always rubbed me the wrong way, seemed a little sanctimonious.

It’s like that couple with the second home who wear new clothing and drive (new! expensive!) hybrid vehicles telling you all about their non-materialistic lifestyle while they sip their micro-brews.

Yeah.

So for others who don’t want to feel guilty about buying a loaf of bread today- if they can afford to buy a loaf of bread today- there is Steal Something Day, a snarky concept with a large grain of truth conceived by a group of anarchists in Montreal.

You could make a grand gesture today and pull a Jean Valjean.

CORE New Art Space is open tonight and I will be working there. Anyone who would like to celebrate Black Friday by buying art is more than welcome.

This economy has been particularly hard on visual artists.

Non-buying lookers are welcome, too. But please don’t steal anything:)

I’m not really that cranky. I hope those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving had a lovely Thanksgiving. Happy Black Friday.

“Bad art painting”

is a search term that leads to this blog, apparently. I’m not sure how to take this, but I suppose any hit is better than none.

I should avoid looking at the stats.

Rest in peace, Ted Kennedy.

Dialog:City

Will it be more interesting than this YouTube Video leads me to believe? I certainly hope so.

This life drawing

keeps getting deleted from my photobucket account. Other life drawings, including males with full frontal nudity, remain. I have no idea what’s so offensive about it, though some of the proportions are a bit out of whack.

Eric Matelski

Eric Matelski is an artist in Denver who frequently interviews other artists for First Monday Art Talks at Dazzle Jazz. Here he is on video interviewing himself.   

Fresh Spam

Served up tonight as there will be no post tomorrow. This one is awfully obvious, but it will have to do.
Title Line in email: “xmas order”

Hello sales,

I Am Mr Ruben Dave From usa,
I will like to order for some important and urgent items from your
store but
before i proceed i will like you to advise me if you do ship
international
and get me the cost for the Air flight to africa nigeria with the order
i am
going to order from your store. Kindly get back to me with your website
if
you do serve to my needs so that i can send you the list of the items i
want
to order for and you can send me the price with shipping cost so that i
can
forward you my credit card details i.e( VISA /MASTERCARD card) to
charge for
the fast means of payment. Kindly get back to me with your website so
that i
can send you the list of the product in which i am interested in. so we
can
proceed on time,

looking forward to hear from you ,

best regards

Mr. Ruben Dave- why are things always so urgent with you? Slow down, man, stop and smell the roses why don’t ya.

My weekly ScamSpam

Dear Katie,

I’m Mary. Landry, I came across your work at http://painterskeys.com/ , I am interested in the purchase of your arts to beautify our new home, we are moving from our canadian home to Ukraine in a couple of weeks.

What is the price of the art below excluding the shipping cost?

(1) The Wind in my Sails
oil painting on canvas
18 x 18 inches

(2) Abracadabra
oil painting on canvas
40 x 40 inches

On the payment, I would be glad to pay you with a Personal Cheque, because this method of payment is instant cashable.

Please do not hesitate to contact me on how we can proceed.

Best regards,
Mary Landry.

How exciting. Will you pay about eight hundred over on the shipping, then ask me to reimburse you?

Last time you had different last name and needed to beautify your new home in London.

My question- why don’t you try to vary and personalize these emails a little more? My suspicions are aroused when the wording is so similar from one email to the next. But this detail was a new twist, and most interesting to me- through sleight of punctuation, you seem to have turned your last name into an adverb at the beginning of your letter.

My favorite related story here, on 419 Eater.

The Importance of Serenity

lobotomyscanThis image from a disintegrating 1951 psychology text ambushed me while I was scrounging for collage material.
The before and after pics wouldn’t seem out of place in some ancient ad for a beauty treatment.
I dreamt about this possibly long-dead woman last night and think I may need to paint something about her to exorcise her.
I know lobotomies aren’t performed anymore, but it does make me think that with the plethora of antidepressants being prescribed to the worried well, something basic hasn’t really changed here.

Is being anxious and self-conscious really so bad? It’s a basic part of who I’ve always been. And what’s so great about serenity?

From the text: “Without seriously reducing intelligence, as measured by standard tests, the operation usually leaves a person less anxious, less self-conscious and more serene.”